The Case for Boredom
Why this child psychologist thinks you should have a “bored kid summer.”
“I’m bored”
Two words that can send a parent scrambling for an activity, a show, or a device. But actually, boredom is one of the most important experiences we can give to our children!
As counterintuitive as it sounds, boredom is not only good for kids, it’s actually very necessary! Here's why, and what you can do to help your child make the most of it.
The Brain Science of Boredom
When children are bored, their brains aren't switched off. They're doing something remarkable: wandering. Neuroscientists call this the "default mode network": a pattern of brain activity that kicks in precisely when we aren't focused on a task. This mental wandering is where imagination lives. It's where children rehearse social scenarios, process emotions, generate creative ideas, and begin to figure out who they are.
But beyond creativity, boredom quietly builds some of the most important cognitive skills a child will ever develop: executive functions.
Boredom Builds Executive Functions
Executive functions are the brain's CEO: the skills that help us plan, adapt, and regulate ourselves. They don't fully mature until a person's mid-twenties, which means childhood is prime time for practicing them. Boredom turns out to be a surprisingly powerful training ground.
Flexible Thinking
When a child is bored, they can't keep doing what they were doing. They have to pivot. They have to consider: What else could I do? What could this object become? What game could I invent? This mental shifting is exactly what cognitive flexibility looks like in the brain.
And more practice thinking flexibly has benefits that will generalize to other areas of life too! Thinking flexibly helps kids adapt to a change in plans, accept a different outcome than expected, or find a new approach when their first idea fails.
Emotion Regulation
Boredom is uncomfortable. That uncomfortable feeling is actually the point. When a child sits with that discomfort long enough , they have to regulate that feeling themselves without help from an adult. They have to tolerate frustration, manage the restlessness, and move through it toward something new.
This is emotion regulation in action: not the absence of big feelings, but the ability to feel them without being overwhelmed. A child who learns to navigate the mild distress of boredom is building the same emotional muscles they'll use when navigating disappointment, conflict, and stress later in life.
Planning and Problem-Solving
Once a child decides what they want to do, they have to figure out how to do it. What do I need? What comes first? What do I do if this part doesn't work? Planning, sequencing, and troubleshooting are all executive function skills, and they get a genuine workout every time a child invents a game, builds a fort, or organizes a backyard expedition entirely on their own.
What Parents Can Do
Allowing kids to be bored is easier said than done, but with a little practice we can get much better at allowing our kids a small level of discomfort during boredom so that they can develop some amazing skills!
Resist jumping in with solutions. When your child says they're bored, your first instinct might be to hand them a list of activities. Try waiting instead. A simple "I wonder what you'll come up with" sends a powerful message: I believe you can figure this out. You don't have to solve it for them. Give it ten minutes before you offer anything.
Follow their lead when you play together. When you do join in, resist the urge to direct. Let your child decide what you're playing, how the rules work, and what happens next even if the play looks a little chaotic or doesn't make much sense to you. Child-led play keeps the activity at exactly the right developmental level for your child. When adults take over, even with the best intentions, kids often disengage or lose confidence. Your job in these moments is to be a curious, enthusiastic follower.
Talk openly about why boredom matters. Children respond well to honest explanations. You might say something like, "Did you know that when you're bored and you figure out something to do, your brain gets stronger? The part of your brain that solves problems is getting a workout right now." Kids who understand the why behind an experience are more willing to tolerate the discomfort of it.
Limit screens during routine tasks. This one is harder than it sounds, because handing over a phone is so easy. But the grocery store line, the car ride across town, the wait at the doctor's office, and other boring tasks are the moments when kids look around, daydream, make up stories, ask questions, and notice the world. When we fill every gap with a screen, we eliminate the very situations that most naturally produce boredom's benefits. Try leaving the phone in your bag, and see what your child comes up with.
