3 Simple Ways to Have a Brave Summer with your Child
Summer break is full of new experiences: new camps, new friends, new activities, and a break from the predictable routine of the school year. For a lot of kids, that novelty is exciting. But for kids who struggle with anxiety, all that unpredictability can feel like a lot.
The good news? Summer is actually a great time to help kids build a skill they'll use for the rest of their lives: the ability to feel uncomfortable and handle it anyway. That's really what bravery is. It's not the absence of fear; it's moving forward with a task even when you feel nervous, and discovering that you can tolerate that feeling without it being a catastrophe. The more practice kids get with small, manageable doses of discomfort, the more confident they become in their own ability to cope. Summer, with its slower pace and lower stakes, is the perfect training ground. Here are three simple ways to work bravery into your family's summer.
1. Practice one small brave thing every day
Bravery is a muscle, and like any muscle, it grows with repetition, not with one giant leap. Instead of waiting for a big milestone moment, build in one small "stretch" each day. This doesn't need to be dramatic. It could be ordering their own food at a restaurant, saying hello to a new kid at the pool, or hopping on a FaceTime call with a relative they don't talk to often. The goal is to choose something that feels a little uncomfortable, but not overwhelming. When I am having trouble finding the right way to practice bravery with a particular child, I often write down several examples and have them rate on a scale of 1-10 how difficult they think each task would be. Start really small with the easy ones to build confidence!
A fun way to structure this is to create a bravery bingo card for the summer, with a different small challenge in each square. Let your child help pick some of the challenges so they have ownership over the process. When they complete one, they mark it off. When they get a bingo (or fill the whole card), celebrate with something meaningful to them — an ice cream outing, a later bedtime, a small prize. The visual, game-like format takes the pressure off and turns "doing something hard" into something your child is actually excited about.
2. Model how you handle your own anxious moments
Kids learn far more from watching us than from anything we tell them directly. If you want your child to know that anxiety is something you can feel and still move through, they need to see you do it. The next time you're nervous — maybe you're making a phone call you're dreading, or walking into an unfamiliar situation — narrate it out loud. Something like, "I'm feeling a little nervous about this call, but I'm going to take a breath and do it anyway, because I know I can handle it." This shows your child, in real time, that discomfort doesn't have to stop you, and it gives them language they can borrow for their own tough moments.
3. Offer a support statement instead of reassurance
When our kids are anxious, our instinct is often to reassure them: "Don't worry, it'll be fine!" But this can unintentionally send the message that the anxious feeling itself is a problem to be eliminated, rather than something they're capable of moving through. A support statement, a strategy from the Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions (SPACE) approach, does something different. It combines validation with confidence in one sentence: "I know this feels hard, and I know you can handle it." This lets your child know you see their discomfort without dismissing it, while also communicating your belief in their ability to cope which, over time, helps them build that same belief in themselves.
Want to learn more?
At Child Behavior Management Pittsburgh, we work with children experiencing a range of anxiety-related challenges, including Selective Mutism, generalized anxiety disorder, and social anxiety. We help families move beyond simply managing anxious moments in the short term, toward building lasting skills and confidence.
If you'd like more tools for supporting an anxious child, we're offering a Supportive Parenting for Anxious Childhood Emotions parent group this fall — a six-session series designed to give parents practical, evidence-based strategies. Visit our Parent Groups tab for details, or schedule a 15-minute consultation with Dr. Vaughan to talk through what might work best for your family.
