Reducing Child Screen Time: My Observations as a Mom, and My Recommendations as a Behavioral Psychologist
Screen time is one of those parenting topics that can carry a lot of emotion, pressure, and, too often, judgment. In reality, most families move through seasons where screens become more heavily relied upon. A new baby, illness, work stress, weather that keeps everyone indoors, or simply the exhaustion of daily life can all lead to increased screen use. This is normal. It’s understandable. And it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything “wrong.”
At the same time, the start of a new year can feel like a natural reset point. Not because we need to overhaul everything, but because it can be a good moment to reflect on what’s working, what’s not, and what small shifts might better align with our values. For many families, that reflection includes screen time: how much, when, and how it’s being used.
I want to share this topic from two lenses: first, my lived experience as a mom who intentionally reduced my three-year-old daughter’s screen time, and second, my professional perspective as a behavioral psychologist who helps families make sustainable behavior changes.
What I Observed When We Reduced Screen Time
1. The extinction burst was real—and temporary
When we first reduced screen time, my daughter’s requests for screens didn’t quietly fade away. They increased. There was more whining, more asking, and more testing of boundaries. From a behavioral psychology standpoint, this is known as an extinction burst: when a behavior that has previously been reinforced (screens appearing after asking) suddenly stops being reinforced, the behavior often intensifies before it decreases.
Knowing this concept ahead of time mattered. It helped me stay consistent and calm, rather than assuming the change “wasn’t working.” The burst didn’t last forever, but it did require patience.
2. Her play became deeper and more imaginative
Once the initial adjustment period passed, I noticed a significant shift in her play. She engaged in longer stretches of independent play, created more imaginative scenarios, and seemed more flexible in how she used toys and materials. Her play felt less scripted and more internally driven.
This wasn’t immediate, but it was noticeable. When screens weren’t providing immediate novelty and stimulation (which takes less work than the hard work of play), her creativity had room to expand.
3. She still asks, but she can accept “no” more easily
Reducing screen time didn’t eliminate requests entirely. She still occasionally asks or whines when screens aren’t available. The difference is in what happens next. She’s now able to tolerate a clear “no,” regulate herself more quickly, and move on to another activity with less support.
That skill, accepting limits and recovering from disappointment, is incredibly important and transferable to many areas of life.
4. Smaller screen time intervals makes transitions easier
One observation that stood out to me in the past few weeks: transitioning away from two episodes of Bluey has been noticeably easier than transitioning away from five. The longer the screen exposure, the harder it is for her to shift gears. Shorter, intentional use has led to smoother transitions and less dysregulation afterward.
Behavioral Psychology–Informed Strategies for Reducing Screen Time
1. Have a plan; and align with your partner
Before making changes, it’s important to define what you’re changing. Are you eliminating a specific type of screen use (like YouTube)? Setting boundaries around certain times of day? Limiting duration rather than frequency? It is also important to communicate this to your child BEFORE you implement the plan and when your child is calm and able to listen.
Equally important is getting on the same page with your partner or other caregivers. Inconsistency—well-intentioned or not—can unintentionally reinforce the very behaviors you’re trying to reduce.
A clear, shared plan creates predictability for both adults and children.
2. Expect the extinction burst, and trust what’s on the other side
If screen requests increase at first, it doesn’t mean the plan is failing. It often means it’s working. Anticipating the extinction burst can help you stay consistent during the hardest part.
From a behavioral standpoint, “giving in” during this phase teaches children that persistence pays off. Holding steady teaches them that boundaries are reliable, and that’s ultimately very reassuring and regulating for children.
3. Provide replacement activities (at first)
While the long-term goal isn’t to constantly entertain children, expecting them to immediately tolerate boredom after removing screens isn’t always realistic. Early on, it helps to offer alternative activities they can access independently—simple toys, art materials, sensory play, or open-ended items.
Over time, as their tolerance for boredom increases, you can step back. Boredom isn’t something to fear; it fosters creativity, cognitive flexibility, problem-solving, and the ability to wait—all critical developmental skills. But like any skill, it develops gradually.
A Final Note
Reducing screen time can be challenging, especially if screens have become a central regulation tool for the whole family. If these changes feel overwhelming or lead to significant distress, you don’t have to navigate them alone.
A pediatrician is a great first step and can help connect families with appropriate supports. Behavioral psychologists are trained to help families make values-based, sustainable changes while supporting both child behavior and parent well-being.
There is no perfect approach—only thoughtful, compassionate adjustments that meet your family where it is right now.
