Managing Parent Stress During the Holidays: How to Stay Grounded

The holiday season is often painted as a time of joy, connection, and magical moments. But for many parents, the holidays can also bring pressure, unpredictability, and stress. The combination of disrupted routines, social demands, sensory overload, and family expectations can leave caregivers feeling stretched thin.

The good news is that with the right tools and a compassionate mindset, you can reduce stress, support your child’s emotional needs, and still enjoy the moments that matter.

Here are practical, research-supported strategies to help parents stay grounded during the holiday season.

1. Protect the Routines That Matter Most

Holiday weeks often disrupt schedules, but maintaining key routines helps children feel safe, connected, and regulated. When children feel more regulated, parents experience less stress.

Instead of trying to hold onto every routine, choose the ones that have the biggest impact:

• Sleep schedules

• Meal/snack consistency

• Daily playtime or connection rituals

• Predictable morning or bedtime rhythms

At Child Behavior Management Pittsburgh, we also often recommend that families completing PCIT therapy do 5–10 minutes of daily child-led play (“special time”) which can smooth out the bumps of travel, family gatherings, or overstimulation. It’s a small investment with a big payoff in child behavior, and in your stress level.

2. Set Realistic Expectations (for You and Your Child)

Many parents enter the holidays with an internal script: We should visit every family member, My child should behave well, We should make this magical, I should stay calm, or My child should act grateful the whole time.

But holiday stress often comes from expectations—not behavior.

Instead of striving for a “perfect holiday,” aim for:

• Shorter events instead of all-day commitments

• Gradual warm-ups at gatherings

• A flexible mindset about what “success” looks like

• Giving your child choice about activities or social interactions

3. Prepare “Brave Plans” for Social Situations

Holidays often bring events that feel socially demanding, particularly for sensitive or anxious children. Creating a “brave plan” ahead of time can reduce uncertainty and make the day smoother.

A brave plan might include:

• Where the child can take breaks

• Who they will see

• Ways they can warm up slowly

• A small menu of possible brave behaviors (e.g., handing out plates, helping set the table, playing a game)

• A strategy for praise and celebration

Children are more successful when they know what to expect, and parents feel calmer when they have a roadmap.

4. Protect Your Own Regulation

It’s hard to respond calmly to a child in distress when you’re running on low sleep, tight schedules, or emotional overload. During the holidays, parents often try to do everything—holiday shopping, hosting, travel planning, social events—and then feel guilty for losing patience.

Your regulation matters just as much as your child’s.

Try:

• Short, frequent breaks (even 2 minutes of deep breathing helps)

• A “quiet car ride” reset between events

• Setting boundaries around what you can and cannot do

• Asking your partner or co-parent for support

• Simplifying holiday tasks (store-bought counts!)

• Letting go of one thing on your list each day

Calm, consistent parenting is most effective when it comes from a regulated place. We are aiming for progress, not perfection!

5. Plan for Praise—Even in Small Moments

During busy seasons, it’s easy to focus on what’s challenging. But one of the most powerful PCIT strategies that we teach parents is labeled praise—specifically naming the behaviors you want to see more of.

Holiday examples:

• “I love how gently you’re playing with your cousin.”

• “You were so brave walking into the house.”

• “Thank you for helping me get ready. That was responsible.”

Praise isn’t just for kids—it helps parents shift out of stress mode and into noticing what is going well. It increases positive behavior and strengthens connection at a time when both matter most.

6. Give Yourself Permission to Adjust

Sometimes the bravest parenting choice is stepping back. If an event is too overwhelming for your child (or too stressful for you) it’s okay to shorten a visit, skip an activity, or leave early. Flexibility is not failure. It's responsive parenting.

You know your child best. Trust your instincts.

Final Thoughts

The holiday season can be beautiful, but it can also be demanding. If you’re a parent navigating behavioral challenges, anxiety, or selective mutism, remember: you’re not alone, and you’re not doing it wrong. The combination of disrupted routines, bigger emotions, and social expectations would challenge anyone. Remember, you can always seek support from a professional (pediatrician, licensed psychologist, etc.) if you feel that you or your family could use extra support in managing stressful behaviors that are amplified around the holidays.

Wishing you and your family a wonderful (and hopefully less stressful) holiday season!